I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
