I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
