come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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