Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
