is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
