Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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