JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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