i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
my mouth tastes like poor choices
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
