We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
