I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
