it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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