Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
