So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
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