Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
