My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
