i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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