Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
