Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
you have to choose: penises or morals?
either way he was missing a nipple.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
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