the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
