Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
her vagine was all disorganized.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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