i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
