Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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