Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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