She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
