i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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