I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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