What did we do last night that was yellow?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
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I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
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Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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