All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
