these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
