You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I stole a fireplace last night.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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