I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
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You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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