Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
