'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
