At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
