That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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