let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
God I need to hump something, right now.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
