brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
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