please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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