I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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