I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
