okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
