we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
