Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Randomize
