Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
you mean i was at the winter classic?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
