Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
