i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
