i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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