Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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