im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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