if you like me you must not know who I am
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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