I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I just cut my nipple shaving
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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