she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Randomize
