And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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