Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
