they need to just BURY HIM!
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
