I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i used baking grease as lip gloss
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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