Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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