he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
