its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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