It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
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