I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
