too bad you live with your parents still
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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