we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
