You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
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