Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
The Olympian is in my bed
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize