went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
